Worship in the Waiting

I haven't written much in this space for the last 10 months since coming to Grenada, and I won't give an excuse either. I started my blog for a creative outlet and therefore don't let it dictate my life. While teaching school and engaging in busy mission life, I felt so often I didn't have the mental energy to write here. Then of course Covid changed everything and suddenly I was left with a lot of time, but feeling devoid of words. What to write, to say when the world is in such turmoil? When my world is in such turmoil. I was empty of inspiration.

Life can change so quickly. Last week I was eagerly looking forward to a trip home. Now...only God knows. So I'm writing now. Not because I've suddenly become enlightened with wisdom, or even inspiration, but because it's time to write. 

Worship in the Waiting 

The clock ticks it's steady rhythm. 

Seconds, minutes, hours. 

The slow process of time. 

For me right now, the very slow process of time. 

Watching the time move. 

Waiting for evening.

Then waiting for the next day.

Waiting for our beach trip.

Waiting for something to do.

But more then that,

Waiting to know if I can go home.

The hours feel long. 

When will it end?

So tired. 

Tired of waiting. 

The tired that has energy at the end of the day,and is so awake that one can't sleep.

The tired that is so ready to stop thinking about flights and logistics.

But the tired that keeps thinking.

And I'm still waiting.

I want to hurry and complete the waiting. 

But waiting can't be hurried. 

Waiting must be walked through.

Waiting is mental work. 

I'm pretty sure I have six-pack abs in that part of my brain.

I get frustrated, and bored, and tired.

Weary of waiting. 

One thing I've come back to over and over again.

When I'm frustrated.

When I'm tired.

When I want to give up.

When I have nothing left.

God is good.

God is good!!!

GOD IS GOOD!!!

I don't understand.

It feels purposeless.

It doesn't make sense to me.

But I KNOW that God is a good, good, God.

In the early mornings with my coffee, I thank Him.

As I walk under the beating sun, I praise Him.

Sitting in the cooler evenings, listening to songs, I worship Him.

I know I don't do it enough. 

All the times I fretted and fumed.

All the times I took my eyes off Him.

I know I don't do it like I should.

But I try.

And I know He is good.

And that in the waiting,

In the stillness,

While the clock slowly counts the seconds, minutes, hours,

I can worship the good God that He is. 

I can worship in the waiting.